[VIDEO] Failed Olympian Probably The First Man Ever Wishing For Smaller Schlong

 [VIDEO] Failed Olympian Probably The First Man Ever Wishing For Smaller Schlong

Olympic pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita Monday cock-blocked himself, drawing worldwide headlines but losing the competition.

This column generally avoids quoting extensively from other journalists’ stories. I am a reporter, not a parasitic blogger. But it is impossible to improve, either by paraphrasing or additional reporting — who is possibly qualified to comment on Ogita’s unique agony of defeat? — this brilliant piece by news.com.au writer Dan Elsom. So here goes.

“Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita will be ruing the size of his phallus after it caused him to foul during the qualifying rounds in the men’s event in Rio,” he summarized.

“Ogita was attempting to clear a height of 5.3 metres in group A of the first round of the pole vault, when his leg came in contact with the bar. As he began to drop back down towards the ground, his shin grazed the bar, causing it to wobble dangerously.”

“But it was his penis that delivered the final blow. Already unsteady, the bar was dislodged from its holdings when Ogita’s old fellow decided to make an appearance and slap the metal,” Elsom recounted dryly. “The vaulter’s arm then collected the bar as it began to fall.”

And it was all downhill from there.

“Unfortunately, the foul effectively cost Ogita a place in the final.”

“Despite clearing the height on his second attempt, the Japanese athlete was only able to make a height of 5.45 metres with his last jump, which left him in 21st place, ending his campaign in Rio,” the Aussie scribe explained.

“What a way to end your Olympic dream: thwarted by the one thing no man ever wants to let him down.”

Worse yet, despite his newfound fame Ogita is probably the only big name male celebrity who will never be asked to make a Viagra commercial.

Article source - Daily Caller
Article source – Daily Caller

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