Ellen DeGeneres Unveils New Adjustable Bra

 Ellen DeGeneres Unveils New Adjustable Bra

 

 

On the Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ellen talked about two new surgical procedures that would give women larger breasts but just temporarily.  For a mere $2,500 you can get Cinderella breasts.  They disappear at midnight.  Actually, the enlarged breasts wear off in 24 hours.  The second procedure will give you “Vacation Breasts”.  As the name implies the procedure is meant to give you larger breasts that last through your vacation.  That gave Ellen an idea.

She called an audience member who was wearing a sweater and who was , shall we say a little short in the chest area?  Ellen had the girl go back stage and put the new apparel on under her sweater.  She comes out on stage and Ellen whips out a remote control and suddenly, the girls breasts get bigger and bigger. (Tire patches included, tire pump sold separately)

 The beloved talk show host sarcastically praised this ridiculous $2,500 procedure. She went on to mention another doctor who has come up with “Vacation Breasts.” Those last a couple of weeks so that clients can enjoy bigger breasts while, you guessed it, on vacation.

Not one to be outdone, Ellen invented something even bigger and better. Ellen’s “Adjust-a-Bust” makes it possible to grow a larger chest whenever, wherever… and in mere seconds!

She invited special guest Lauren to come onstage wearing the Adjust-a-Bust under her sweater, then proceeded to demonstrate this hilarious invention in front of her studio audience.

The results were absolutely hysterical. Even Ellen had a hard time keeping it together. Some beauty treatments are so outlandish they deserve a little harmless ridicule. Who better than Ellen to serve it?!

H/T Little Things (Or not so little things)

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Steven Ahle

I have been the editor and writer for Red Statements and The PC Graveyard. Won the 2014 FJN Journalist of the Year Award. Author of six fiction books available on Amazon.com "I am a troll bridge. You can cross me but you will pay the price"

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