• May 24, 2024

Oregon Police Are Begging People to Stop Calling 911 If They Run Out of Toilet Paper

 Oregon Police Are Begging People to Stop Calling 911 If They Run Out of Toilet Paper

The fraudstream media is truly the enemy of the American people.

The media has whipped people into a frenzy of panic buying over the Coronavirus, resulting in a shortage of toilet paper.

Toilet paper has been cleaned out at Costco, Sam’s Club and smaller grocery store chains across the country.

Now people are dialing 911 and asking the police for help if they run out of toilet paper.

Police in Oregon begged people to stop dialing 911 if they found themselves without toilet paper.

“It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance,” Newport Oregon Police said in a Facebook post.

The police had some fun and offered residents alternatives to toilet paper if they were to run out.

“In fact, history offers many other options for you in your time of need if you cannot find a roll of your favorite soft, ultra plush two-ply citrus scented tissue,” the police said.
“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”

“Mayans used corn cobs. Colonial Americans also used the core of the cob. Farmers not only used corn cobs, but used pages from the Farmers Almanac. Many Americans took advantage of the numerous pages torn from free catalogs such as Sears and Roebuck. The Sears Christmas catalog, four times thicker than the normal catalog, could get a family of three wiped clean from December through Valentine’s Day; or Saint Patrick’s Day if they were frugal.”

“Then, of course, there are always alternatives to toilet paper. Grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting on the holder right now. Plus, there are a variety of leaves you can safely use. Mother Earth News magazine will even tell you how to make your own wipes using fifteen different leaves. When all else fails, you have magazine pages. Start saving those catalogs you get in the mail that you usually toss into the recycle bin. Be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”



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